The Secret of Becoming Mentally Strong | Amy Morin | TEDxOcala · TEDx Talks
视频探讨心理韧性的构建方法，分析负面思维习惯对心理健康的影响，适合练习情绪管理与积极思维。
Transcriber: Linda Anderson Reviewer: Rebecca DeHovitz So, I have a Facebook friend whose life seems perfect.
转录者：琳达·安德森 审稿人：丽贝卡·德霍维茨 我有一个脸书好友，她的生活看起来非常完美。
She lives in a gorgeous house.
她住在一栋非常漂亮的房子里。
And she has a really rewarding career.
她拥有一份非常令人满足的职业。
And she and her family go on all these exciting adventures together on the weekends.
每个周末，她和她的家人都会一起参加各种令人兴奋的冒险活动。
And I swear that they must take a professional photographer along with them,
我发誓他们必须带上一位专业摄影师同行。
because no matter where they go or what they do, the whole family just looks beautiful.
因为无论他们走到哪里、做什么，整个家庭看起来都非常美丽。
And she's always posting about how blessed she is, and how grateful she is for the life that she has.
她总是发帖子表达自己有多么幸运，以及对自己所拥有的生活心存多么感激。
And I get the feeling that she's not just saying those things for the sake of Facebook, but she truly means it.
我有一种感觉：她说那些话并不是为了在 Facebook 上获得关注或点赞，而是发自内心的真实想法。
How many of you have a friend kind of like that?
在你们当中，有多少人有这样一位朋友呢？
And how many of you kind of don't like that person sometimes?
你们当中有多少人有时也会不喜欢那个人呢？
We all do this, right?
我们都会这样做，对吧？
It's hard not to do.
很难做到不去做这件事。
But that way of thinking costs us something.
但这种思维方式会让我们付出一定的代价（即带来某些负面影响或损失）。
And that's what I want to talk to you about today-- is what our bad habits cost us.
这就是我今天想和大家讨论的内容：我们的坏习惯究竟让我们付出了什么代价。
Maybe you've scrolled through your Facebook feed and you think, "So what if I roll my eyes?
也许你在浏览 Facebook 的动态时心想：“就算我翻白眼又怎样？
It's just five seconds of my time.
这只需要我花费五秒钟的时间而已。
How could it be hurting me?"
这怎么可能对我造成伤害呢？
Well, researchers have found that envying your friends on Facebook, actually leads to depression.
研究人员发现，对在 Facebook 上发布的自己朋友的内容感到嫉妒，实际上会导致抑郁情绪的产生。
That's just one of the traps that our minds can set for us.
这只是我们的大脑可能为我们设下的陷阱之一罢了。
Have you ever complained about your boss?
你曾经抱怨过你的老板吗？
Or looked at your friends' lives and thought, "Why do they have all the luck?"
又或者，当你看到朋友们的生活时，会想：“他们为什么总是这么幸运呢？
You can't help thinking that way, right?
你难免会这么想，对吧？
That way of thinking seems small in the moment.
这种思维方式在当下看来似乎有些狭隘（或：缺乏远见）。
In fact, it might even make you feel better in the moment.
事实上，它甚至可能会让你在当下感觉好一些。
But that way of thinking is eating away at your mental strength.
但这种思维方式正在逐渐消耗你的精神力量。
There's three kinds of destructive beliefs that make us less effective, and rob us of our mental strength.
有三种具有破坏性的信念，它们会降低我们的工作效率，同时剥夺我们的精神力量（即我们的意志力和自信心）。
The first one is unhealthy beliefs about ourselves.
第一种是不健康的自我认知（即关于我们自身的错误或有害的观念）。
We tend to feel sorry for ourselves.
我们往往会自怜（即为自己感到难过）。
And while it's OK to be sad when something bad happens, self-pity goes beyond that.
虽然当坏事发生时感到悲伤是正常的，但自怜则是一种过分的行为。
It's when you start to magnify your misfortune.
当你开始放大自己的不幸时，情况就变得更糟了。
When you think things like, "Why do these things always have to happen to me?"
当你心里想着“为什么这些事情总是发生在我身上？”的时候……
"I shouldn't have to deal with it."
我本不该处理这件事。
That way of thinking keeps you stuck, keeps you focused on the problem, keeps you from finding a solution.
这种思维方式只会让你陷入困境，让你一直专注于问题本身，从而无法找到解决问题的方法。
And even when you can't create a solution, you can always take steps to make your life or somebody else's life better.
即使你无法找到解决问题的方法，你仍然可以采取一些措施来改善自己或他人的生活。
But you can't do that when you're busy hosting your own pity party.
但当你正忙于为自己举办一场“自怜派对”（即沉浸在自我哀怜的情绪中）时，你就无法做到这些了。
The second type of destructive belief that holds us back is unhealthy beliefs about others.
第二种阻碍我们前进的消极信念，是对他人的不健康看法（即那些有害的、负面的看法）。
We think that other people can control us, and we give away our power.
我们认为别人能够控制我们，于是我们就放弃了自己的力量（即放弃了自主权和决定权）。
But as adults who live in a free country, there's very few things in life that you have to do.
但作为生活在自由国家中的成年人，生活中其实有很多事情是你可以选择不做（即不必强制去做的）。
So when you say, "I have to work late," you give away your power.
所以，当你说“我必须加班到很晚”时，你实际上是在放弃自己的自主权（或者说是在放弃自己能够控制工作时间和节奏的能力）。
Yeah, maybe there will be consequences if you don't work late, but it's still a choice.
是的，如果你不加班，可能会有一些后果，但这仍然是一个你可以做出的选择。