Inside the Mind of a Master Procrastinator | Tim Urban | TED · TED
Tim Urban分享自己拖延的有趣经历，从大学论文到毕业论文，展示他如何在最后一刻完成任务。适合练习英语口语和听力理解。
So in college,
那么在大学里，
I was a government major, which means I had to write a lot of papers.
我主修政府学，这意味着我需要撰写大量的论文。
Now, when a normal student writes a paper, they might spread the work out a little like this.
现在，当一个普通的学生写论文时，他们可能会把写作任务分摊开来，大致如下所示。
So, you know --
所以，你知道的……
you get started maybe a little slowly, but you get enough done in the first week that, with some heavier days later on,
你开始的时候可能会进展得有点慢，但在第一周内你就能完成不少工作。之后随着一些工作量较大的日子的到来，你的工作效率也会逐渐提高。
everything gets done, things stay civil.
所有事情都能顺利完成，大家也保持着礼貌和尊重的态度。
And I would want to do that like that.
我想就按那样的方式来处理这件事。
That would be the plan.
这就是我们的计划。
I would have it all ready to go, but then, actually, the paper would come along, and then I would kind of do this.
我本来会把所有准备工作都做好，但实际情况是：当相关文件真正到手之后，我才会开始着手处理那些工作。
And that would happen every single paper.
而且这种情况会发生在每一份报纸上。
But then came my 90-page senior thesis, a paper you're supposed to spend a year on.
但随后，我需要完成一篇长达 90 页的毕业论文——这种论文通常需要花费整整一年的时间来撰写。
And I knew for a paper like that, my normal work flow was not an option.
对于这样一篇论文来说，我平常的工作流程显然无法满足要求。
It was way too big a project.
这个项目规模实在太大，超出了我们的处理能力。
So I planned things out, and I decided I kind of had to go something like this.
于是我仔细规划了一切，最终决定采取这样的做法。
This is how the year would go.
今年的情况大概就是这样的。
So I'd start off light, and I'd bump it up in the middle months, and then at the end,
所以我一开始会采用较为轻松的学习方式，然后在中间几个月逐渐增加学习强度，最后再达到最高水平。
I would kick it up into high gear just like a little staircase.
我会像使用一个小楼梯一样，让事情迅速进入高速运转的状态。
How hard could it be to walk up the stairs?
走上楼梯，这到底有多难呢？
No big deal, right?
没什么大不了的，对吧？
But then, the funniest thing happened.
但随后，最有趣的事情发生了。
Those first few months?
最初的几个月里……
They came and went, and I couldn't quite do stuff.
他们来来去去，让我根本无法专心做事。
So we had an awesome new revised plan.
因此，我们制定了一个非常棒的新修订计划。
And then --
然后——
But then those middle months actually went by, and I didn't really write words, and so we were here.
不过那些中间几个月确实就这样过去了，而我几乎什么都没写……于是，我们就来到了现在这个阶段。
And then two months turned into one month, which turned into two weeks.
两个月的时间很快就变成了一个月，而一个月又变成了两周。
And one day I woke up with three days until the deadline,
有一天我醒来时，距离截止日期只剩下三天时间了。
still not having written a word, and so I did the only thing I could: I wrote 90 pages over 72 hours,
仍然一个字都没写出来，于是我做了唯一能做的事：在72小时内写完了90页的内容。
pulling not one but two all-nighters -- humans are not supposed to pull two all-nighters --
连续熬了两整夜……人类本来就不应该连续熬两整夜的啊……
sprinted across campus, dove in slow motion, and got it in just at the deadline.
他以极快的速度穿过校园，然后以“慢动作”（即减速的方式）完成相关任务，最终在截止日期前成功提交了成果。
I thought that was the end of everything.
我以为一切都到此结束了。
But a week later I get a call, and it's the school.
但一周后我接到了一个电话，是学校打来的。
And they say, "Is this Tim Urban?"
然后他们问：“这个人是蒂姆·厄本（Tim Urban）吗？
And I say, "Yeah."
然后我说：“是的。
And they say, "We need to talk about your thesis."
他们说：“我们需要谈谈你的论文。
And I say, "OK."
然后我说：“好的。
And they say, "It's the best one we've ever seen."
他们说：“这是我们见过的最好的东西。
That did not happen.
那种事情并没有发生。
It was a very, very bad thesis.
这是一篇质量非常差的论文。
I just wanted to enjoy that one moment when all of you thought, "This guy is amazing!"
我只是想珍惜那一刻——当你们所有人都在想：“这家伙太厉害了！”的时候。