Treat Yourself Like Someone You Love (How To Learn To Love Yourself) | Adam Roa | TEDxKlagenfurt · TEDx Talks
Adam Roa通过一首走红的诗，讲述自我爱的重要性。他分享了如何通过自我关怀和真实表达来重建与自己的关系，适合练习自我认知和情感表达。
Transcriber: Emilia Soso Reviewer: eric vautier
转录者：埃米莉亚·索索 审稿人：埃里克·沃蒂埃
You are who you've been looking for, so stop looking for more unless you’re looking in the mirror,
你就是自己一直在寻找的那个人；所以别再继续寻找了……除非你正在照镜子。
because it’s about time for you to see clearly that you are who you’ve been looking for.
因为是时候让你清楚地认识到：你其实就是自己一直在寻找的那个人了。
And that empty feeling you got, that hole in your chest, you only got that feeling because you think you’re not blessed with everything you need.
那种空虚的感觉、那种内心的“空洞感”，之所以会出现，只是因为你认为自己没有得到所有该拥有的东西。
You see, we live in a consumerist society, which means they need you to buy stuff.
你看，我们生活在一个消费主义的社会中，这意味着商家需要你购买他们的产品。
And the easiest way to sell it is to tell you, “You’re not enough”.
而最容易让人接受这种说法的方式，就是对你说：“你还不够好（或：你不够优秀）。
“Buy this car, you’ll get girls”.
买这辆车，你会吸引很多女孩的。
“Buy this bra, you’ll get guys”.
买这款胸罩吧，你会吸引很多男生的。
And we're seeing it so much that we start believing these lies.
我们看到这种情况的次数太多了，以至于开始相信这些谎言了。
But the truth is: the makeup they’re
但事实是：他们所使用的化妆品……
selling to make you feel prettier is
通过销售产品来让你觉得自己更漂亮，这种做法其实是一种心理操控手段。
the same makeup you buy to stop feeling shittier about this lie they keep telling you that “you are not enough”.
你买的那些化妆品，其实只是为了让自己不那么难受——因为他们一直在对你撒谎，说“你不够好”。
And what about the movies we watch or the shows on TV?
那么我们看的电影和电视节目又该如何看待呢？
The more I watch, the more I see “I need you to complete me”.
我看得越多，就越深刻地意识到：“我需要你来完善我。
And yes, love is the answer, love is the key.
没错，爱就是答案，爱就是钥匙。
But if you can’t love yourself, how can you ever love me?
但如果你无法爱自己，又怎么可能爱我呢？
And “loving yourself”, what does that even mean?
还有“爱自己”……这到底是什么意思呢？
Messages and selfies, and that sort of thing?
信息、自拍照，还有诸如此类的东西？
Because the more I think about it, the more it feels weird.
因为我想得越多，就越觉得这件事很奇怪。
I’ve always thought self-love was something to be feared.
我一直认为，自我爱（即对自己怀有积极、正面的感情）是一件需要被畏惧的事情。
I’ve been taught that arrogance is bad, and vanity is not good.
我一直被教导说傲慢是坏品质，而虚荣心也是不好的。
And even my bracelets are telling me to act how Jesus would.
就连我的手镯也在提醒我：应该像耶稣那样行事。
So, what should I do?
那么，我该怎么办呢？
How should I act?
我应该怎么做呢？
I'm supposed to love myself, but how do I even do that?
我应该爱自己，但我究竟该如何做到这一点呢？
Well, I got a trick that I picked up from a friend that noticed that I was quick to defend her
嗯，我有一个小窍门，是从一个朋友那里学来的。那个朋友注意到我总是很乐意为她辩护（或者说，我总是很快就会站出来保护她）。
when she’d say something negative about herself.
当她说一些关于自己的负面评价时……
She’d say, “I’m so dumb”, and I’d say, “You’re so brilliant”.
她总会说：“我真笨啊”，而我会回答：“你其实非常聪明。
She’d say, “I’m so weak”, and I’d say, “You’re so resilient”.
她会说：“我太虚弱了”，而我则会回答：“你其实非常有韧性（即能够迅速从困境中恢复过来）。
And when she said, “I feel ugly”
当她说：“我觉得自己很丑”时……
and I said, “You look beautiful”, she
然后我说：“你看起来真美。
asked me why I was so dutifully filling up her cup constantly and yet treating my own cup so irresponsibly.
她问我：为什么我总是如此尽职尽责地给她倒水（填满她的杯子），却对自己的杯子却如此不负责任（任由它空着、不加以照料）。
Because when I looked in the mirror, my voice was quite clear.
因为当我照镜子时，我的声音听起来非常清晰。
You’re ugly, too thin, your hairline is receding, and you got a pimple on your chin.
你长得很难看，太瘦了；头发也开始后移（即发际线逐渐向上移动）；下巴上还长了个痘痘。
And that was when she gave me a piece of advice that changed my life.
就在那时，她给了我一条改变了我人生的建议。
She gave me a hug, and she said, “Treat yourself like someone you love”.
她拥抱了我，然后说：“要像对待自己珍视的人一样对待自己。
Treat yourself like someone you love.
像对待自己所爱的人一样对待自己吧。
Now, I had been standing, but I
现在，我之前一直站着，但是……
needed to be sitting because I couldn’t believe that I’d been letting myself keep forgetting that I was who I’d been looking for.
我不得不坐下来思考：我简直无法相信自己竟然会一直忘记自己其实就是自己一直在寻找的那个人。
And deep in my core, I knew
在我内心深处，我明白这一点。