I Thought I Was Lazy. Turns Out I Had a Sleep Disorder | Lindsay Scola | TED · TED
Lindsay Scola分享她如何从以为自己懒惰到发现患有睡眠障碍的转变。她讲述了睡眠问题对生活和工作的严重影响，并呼吁人们关注自己的睡眠健康，识别是否患有未被诊断的睡眠障碍。
I was one of those overachiever kids.
我就是那种成绩总是超常的孩子之一。
12 things going at once, already dreaming of changing the world.
同时有12件事情需要处理，我已经开始梦想着改变这个世界了。
And I was so excited to go to summer school at Yale when I was 16.
当我16岁的时候，能够去耶鲁大学参加暑期学校的学习，我感到非常兴奋。
I didn't say I was cool.
我可没说过自己很酷。
The classes were tough and thought-provoking.
这些课程内容难度较大，但同时也非常具有启发性和思考价值。
But that's when something strange started happening to me.
但就在那时，我身上开始发生一些奇怪的事情。
I'd be sitting in class, completely engaged, when suddenly, a fog rolled in.
我正全神贯注地坐在课堂上，突然间，一片“迷雾”笼罩了整个教室（即我的注意力被分散了）。
My thoughts fuzzed, my senses dulled, the world blurred, like someone was slowly turning a dimmer switch on my brain.
我的思绪变得混乱不堪，感官也变得迟钝；整个世界仿佛都变得模糊不清……就好像有人正在慢慢地调低我大脑的“活跃程度”（或者说，正在减弱我大脑的功能）。
I'd pinch my thigh, tap my foot, anything to fight this overwhelming urge to sleep.
我会掐自己的大腿、轻拍自己的脚——总之，想尽一切办法来抵抗这种强烈的睡意。
Once I bit my tongue so hard it bled.
有一次，我咬自己的舌头太用力了，结果舌头流血了。
And then the thought would hit me like a hammer.
然后，这个念头就像锤子一样猛烈地击中了我。
"If I don't go to sleep right now, I'm going to die."
如果我现在不睡觉，我就会死。
So somehow, quietly, I'd excuse myself, slip into a bathroom stall, lean my head against the wall and fall asleep.
不知怎么的，我总是悄悄地找个借口离开现场，溜进洗手间的隔间，把头靠在墙上，然后就睡着了。
When I told my family doctor, she said, "You're busy.
当我把这件事告诉我的家庭医生时，她说：“你很忙。
Busy people are tired."
忙碌的人总是感到疲惫。
It felt dismissive, but also like some secret initiation into adulthood.
这种态度似乎带有轻蔑的意味，但同时也像是一种象征着人进入成年的“秘密仪式”……
I had big dreams, a lot to accomplish, so I figured I just had to get better at being awake.
我有着远大的梦想，还有很多事情需要完成；因此我觉得自己必须更加“清醒”（即更加专注、更有意识地面对生活中的各种挑战）。
When I started working in professional politics, exhaustion was a badge of honor.
当我刚开始从事职业政治工作时，精疲力竭反而被视为一种“荣誉”的象征。
The later you stayed up, the more coffee you drank, the more worthy you felt.
你熬夜的时间越长，喝的咖啡就越多，因此也就觉得自己越“有价值”（或者说越重要）。
Society convinced us that if we were tired, we were doing it right.
社会让我们相信：如果我们感到疲惫，那就说明我们的做法是正确的。
In 2008, I joined the Obama Advance team, the people responsible for everything from logistics to aesthetics on the campaign.
2008年，我加入了奥巴马竞选团队的支持小组（Obama Advance Team），这个团队负责竞选活动中的所有事务，从后勤保障到视觉设计（即竞选活动的整体外观和呈现方式）都由他们负责。
But the thing about Advance, you're in a new city every four to six days, regularly pulling all-nighters,
但关于 Advance 的工作，你每四到六天就要到一个新的城市去工作，而且经常需要通宵工作。
on behalf of the future president of the United States.
代表美国未来的总统。
The stakes were high, it was fast-paced, everyone was exhausted.
赌注很高，节奏非常快，所有人都累坏了。
I was surrounded by the best, the brightest and the busiest.
我周围都是最优秀、最聪明、也最忙碌的人。
But I never saw them sneaking into the bathroom to nap like I did.
但我从未像我那样看到他们偷偷溜进浴室小睡。
I thought I must be lazy, that I lacked the willpower everyone else seemed to have.
我以为自己一定很懒，缺乏别人似乎都拥有的意志力。
And underneath all that drive, I felt utterly alone in my inability to keep up.
在所有这些强烈的驱动力背后，我却感到无比孤独——因为我根本无法跟上别人的节奏（或：无法跟上他们的发展速度）。
As the years passed, I kept bringing up my sleepiness to doctors who kept pushing the same glossy handouts on improving my sleep hygiene.
随着时间的推移，我不断向医生们反映自己容易犯困的问题，但医生们总是给我那些关于如何改善睡眠卫生的宣传资料，却从不真正提供有效的解决方案。
My gut knew something else was going on.
我的直觉告诉我，肯定还有其他事情在发生。
And then came the dreams.
然后，梦境出现了。
I'd wake up frozen in bed, convinced something terrifying was in the room.
我醒来时会发现自己全身僵硬、无法动弹，同时坚信房间里藏着某种可怕的东西。
I could see it, but I couldn't move or scream.
我看到了那东西，但却动弹不得，也无法发出任何声音（比如尖叫）。
One doctor said it was just me manifesting stress from my job.
一位医生表示，这只是我因工作而产生的压力在身体上的体现罢了。
One night I woke to a child whispering, "Can I hold your hand?"
一天晚上，我醒来听到一个孩子在小声问：“我可以握住你的手吗？
The next day I saged my entire bedroom, like, it never crossed my mind I might have a neurological disorder.
第二天，我彻底打扫了整个卧室。其实我压根就没想过自己可能会患有某种神经系统疾病。
At 35, I hit my wall.
35岁的时候，我遇到了人生中的瓶颈（或者说“障碍”）。
I could fall asleep, but I couldn't stay asleep.
我可以入睡，但却无法保持睡眠状态（即容易醒来）。
I was awake most of the night, falling back asleep just before my alarm went off.
我几乎整晚都处于清醒状态，直到闹钟响起前才又睡着了。
Most days I felt like a lunatic zombie, barely holding it together.
大多数时候，我都觉得自己像一个疯狂的僵尸一样，几乎无法维持正常的理智状态。