How not to take things personally? | Frederik Imbo | TEDxMechelen · TEDx Talks
演讲者通过成为足球裁判的经历，分享如何不把他人行为当真。适合练习情绪管理与沟通技巧。
Transcriber: María Constanza Cuevas Reviewer: Tanya Cushman
转录者：玛丽亚·康斯坦萨·奎瓦斯 审稿人：塔尼娅·库什曼
(Referee whistle sound) Good evening!
（裁判吹哨的声音）晚上好！
Good evening.
晚上好。
How are you?
你最近怎么样？
Are you good?
你还好吗？
Great!
太好了！
Welcome, welcome, welcome to this match.
欢迎大家来到这场比赛！
This match will take exactly 18 minutes.
这场比赛将恰好持续18分钟。
OK?
好的吗？
And you're all part of the same team: Mechelen.
你们所有人都属于同一个团队：梅赫伦队。
OK?
好的吗？
Hey guys, I would like to see fair play on the field, respect and positivity.
嘿，大家好！我希望在球场上看到公平竞争、相互尊重以及积极向上的氛围。
Is that OK for everyone?
这样对所有人来说都合适吗？
Cool.
酷。
Good luck!
祝你好运！
One year ago, I decided I wanted to become a football referee.
一年前，我决定成为一名足球裁判。
Not because of the money, though.
不过，这并不是因为钱的问题。
I only get paid 20 euros per match.
每场比赛我只能获得20欧元的报酬。
So I won't really get rich by it, will I?
所以，我靠这个真的赚不到多少钱，对吧？
No.
不。
I decided to become a referee for two other reasons.
我决定成为一名裁判，还有另外两个原因。
One - to stay in good shape.
首先，是为了保持良好的身体状况。
Two - because I wanted to learn how not to take things personally.
两个原因：其一，我想学会如何不把别人的话或行为往心里去；其二，我想通过这个过程来提升自己的心理素质，避免因琐事而产生不必要的情绪波动。
[How not to take things personally?]
[如何避免把别人的话往心里去？]
I can see some people nodding.
我看到有些人正在点头。
You are probably thinking, "Being a referee is the perfect environment to learn how not to take things personally,
你可能在想：“担任裁判这个职位，正是学习如何不把别人的言行往心里去的绝佳机会。
isn't it?"
不是吗？
Because the spectators hardly ever shout encouraging or positive things.
因为观众几乎从不喊出鼓励或积极的话语。
No.
不。
What do they shout?
他们喊什么？
Come on, come on.
快点，快点。
"Loser!
失败者！
Are you blind?"
你是瞎了吗？
Yeah, yeah, good!
是的，很好！
As a referee, I am the scapegoat.
作为一名裁判，我成了替罪羊。
Apparently, I'm always wrong.
显然，我总是说错话。
It's always my fault.
总是我的错。
And I wanted to learn how not to take all this personally.
我想学会如何不要把这些事情都往自己身上揽，不要过于个人化地看待它们。
Because I really struggle with this.
因为我真的在这方面遇到了很大的困难。
For example, when I drive slowly because I'm trying to find a specific location and somebody is just driving behind me,
例如，当我因为正在寻找某个特定的地点而缓慢行驶时，如果有人紧跟在我后面……