The gift and power of emotional courage | Susan David · TED
心理学家Susan David探讨情感勇气的重要性，解释如何通过情感敏捷应对复杂世界。适合练习情感表达和应对策略。
Hello, everyone.
大家好！
Sawubona.
Sawubona（意为“你好”或“欢迎”）。
In South Africa, where I come from, "sawubona" is the Zulu word for "hello."
在我来自的南非，“sawubona”是祖鲁语中用来表示“你好”的词语。
There's a beautiful and powerful intention behind the word because "sawubona" literally translated means, "I see you, and by seeing you,
这个词背后蕴含着一种美好而深刻的意义。因为“sawubona”直译过来的意思是“我看到你了”，而通过“看到你”，
I bring you into being."
是我将你们创造出来的。
So beautiful, imagine being greeted like that.
太美了！想象一下，有人能以这样的方式迎接你该有多幸福啊。
But what does it take in the way we see ourselves?
但是，我们在看待自己时，究竟需要具备哪些条件（或因素）呢？
Our thoughts, our emotions and our stories that help us to thrive in an increasingly complex and fraught world?
我们的思想、情感以及那些帮助我们在日益复杂且充满挑战的世界中茁壮成长的故事，究竟是什么呢？
This crucial question has been at the center of my life's work.
这个至关重要的问题一直是我毕生工作的核心。
Because how we deal with our inner world drives everything.
因为我们处理内心世界的方式决定了所有事情的发展方向。
Every aspect of how we love, how we live, how we parent and how we lead.
我们爱的方式、生活方式、育儿方式以及领导方式的所有方面。
The conventional view of emotions as good or bad, positive or negative, is rigid.
将情绪简单地划分为“好”或“坏”、“积极”或“消极”的传统观点其实过于僵化、缺乏灵活性。
And rigidity in the face of complexity is toxic.
在面对复杂性问题时表现出僵化或固执的态度，其实是一种有害的行为（或态度）。
We need greater levels of emotional agility for true resilience and thriving.
为了真正具备韧性并实现繁荣发展，我们需要具备更高水平的情绪灵活性（即能够更轻松地应对各种情绪变化）。
My journey with this calling began not in the hallowed halls of a university, but in the messy,
我与这份使命的缘分，并非始于大学那神圣的殿堂，而是从一片混乱、充满挑战的环境中开始的……
tender business of life.
处理生活中那些微妙、复杂的事情（或：应对生活中的种种困境）。
I grew up in the white suburbs of apartheid South Africa, a country and community committed to not seeing.
我在南非种族隔离时期的白人郊区长大；那个国家、那个社会，都选择对现实视而不见（即选择不去正视现实中的种种问题）。
To denial.
然后是拒绝（或否认）。
It's denial that makes 50 years of racist legislation possible while people convince themselves that they are doing nothing wrong.
正是这种否认的态度，使得长达50年的种族主义立法得以持续存在；与此同时，人们却一直说服自己自己没有做错任何事。
And yet, I first learned of the destructive power of denial at a personal level,
然而，我最初是在个人层面上了解到“否认”这种行为所具有的破坏性力量的。
before I understood what it was doing to the country of my birth.
在我明白它对我的祖国究竟造成了什么影响之前……
My father died on a Friday.
我的父亲在星期五去世了。
He was 42 years old and I was 15.
他当时42岁，而我只有15岁。
My mother whispered to me to go and say goodbye to my father before I went to school.
妈妈轻声对我说，在我去上学之前，要去跟爸爸道别。
So I put my backpack down and walked the passage that ran through to where the heart of our home my father lay dying of cancer.
于是我放下背包，沿着那条通往我们家“核心区域”的通道走去——那里，我的父亲正因癌症而奄奄一息。
His eyes were closed, but he knew I was there.
他的眼睛闭着，但他知道我在那里。
In his presence, I had always felt seen.
在他面前，我总有一种被关注、被重视的感觉。
I told him I loved him, said goodbye and headed off for my day.
我告诉他我爱他，然后道别，接着开始我的一天。
At school, I drifted from science to mathematics to history to biology, as my father slipped from the world.
在学校里，我的学习兴趣一直在变化：从科学到数学，再到历史和生物学；与此同时，我的父亲也渐渐离开了这个世界。
From May to July to September to November, I went about with my usual smile.
从五月到七月，再到九月和十一月，我始终带着一如既往的微笑生活着。
I didn't drop a single grade.
我的所有科目成绩都没有下降（即没有一门科目的成绩变差）。
When asked how I was doing, I would shrug and say, "OK."
当别人问我近况如何时，我只会耸耸肩，然后说：“还行。
I was praised for being strong.
我因为坚强而受到了表扬。
I was the master of being OK.
我堪称“保持心态平和”的高手。
But back home, we struggled -- my father hadn't been able to keep his small business going during his illness.
但在家乡，我们遇到了很多困难：我的父亲在生病期间无法继续经营他的小生意。
And my mother, alone, was grieving the love of her life trying to raise three children, and the creditors were knocking.
而我的母亲，独自一人，正在为失去生命中最重要的那个人而悲痛；同时她还要努力抚养三个孩子。与此同时，债主们不断上门讨债。
We felt, as a family, financially and emotionally ravaged.
作为一个家庭，我们在经济上和情感上都受到了巨大的打击。
And I began to spiral down, isolated, fast.
我开始迅速地陷入孤立无援的境地，处境越来越糟糕。
I started to use food to numb my pain.
我开始用食物来麻痹自己的痛苦。
Binging and purging.
暴饮暴食后通过催吐等方式清除体内摄入的食物。