The Unstoppable Power of Letting Go | Jill Sherer Murray | TEDxWilmingtonWomen · TEDx Talks
Jill分享了她如何通过放手一段不健康的关系，重新掌控自己的生活。适合练习情感表达与人生决策相关的英语口语。
Translator: Phuong Cao Reviewer: Peter van de Ven
翻译者：Phuong Cao 审稿人：Peter van de Ven
Letting go can make you unstoppable.
放手会让你变得势不可挡。
I know because I let go of a relationship and reclaimed my life.
我知道这一点，因为我已经放下了那段感情，重新掌控了自己的生活。
And I know that letting go can create the best of change for each and everyone of you.
我知道，放手才能为你们每个人带来最好的改变。
Let me tell you a story.
让我给你们讲一个故事吧。
When I was 41, the death of a relationship showed me how to truly let go of what wasn't working.
41岁那年，一段感情的结束让我明白了：如何真正放下那些无法继续维持的关系（或那些已经不再适合自己的东西）。
See, up until that time, I didn't really think about the future.
直到那时，我其实并没有真正去思考过未来。
I kind of lived my life like a dog - moment to moment.
我几乎像狗一样过着自己的生活：只活在当下，每一刻都专注于当下。
I chased balls, I ate whatever I could find on the ground.
我追逐那些滚动的球，还会吃掉地上能找到的任何东西。
And life was good.
生活很美好。
I had a great job, great friends, a great apartment, a great actual dog, and a great boyfriend.
我有一份很棒的工作、一群很棒的朋友、一套很棒的公寓、一只非常可爱的狗狗，还有一个非常优秀的男朋友。
Well, sort of.
嗯，算是吧。
See, Hector didn't have any skin in the game, and I felt that.
你看，赫克托在这件事中根本没有任何利益可图，我当时就感觉到了这一点。
He danced around the very idea of marriage, and after 12 years, we didn't even live together.
他对婚姻这个概念一直持回避态度；12年过去了，我们甚至都没有同居过。
Still, he gave me hope.
尽管如此，他给了我希望。
Well, sometimes.
嗯，有时候吧。
More like living in a situation that had no hope just felt normal.
更确切地说，我们生活在一个毫无希望、但似乎“理所当然”（即被视为正常）的环境中。
Don't get me wrong.
别误会我的意思。
I stayed because Hector was a good looking, smart, reliable, and sensitive guy who cared, and while our relationship wasn't perfect,
我选择留下来，是因为赫克托是个英俊、聪明、可靠且富有同情心的人。虽然我们的关系并不完美，但他确实非常值得我信任。
it worked in theory.
从理论上来说，这个方法是可行的。
Until a wake-up call from a friend changed everything.
直到一位朋友给了他一个“警钟”，一切都改变了。
So my realtor friend called to tell me about a condo coming up for sale in my Chicago neighborhood.
我的房地产经纪人朋友打电话告诉我，芝加哥我所在的社区有一套公寓即将出售。
She knew that I was looking for Hector to commit and thought, ''Well, maybe this could inspire a little forward motion.''
她知道我在寻找赫克托（Hector）这个人，希望他能做出一些积极的举动；于是她想：“嗯，也许这件事能促使事情向前发展一点。
Still, my first inclination was to say, "We're not ready.
不过，我的第一反应还是想说：“我们还没有准备好。
Not yet."
还没有。
Haha, "Not yet."
哈哈，回答是“还没呢”。
That was Hector's favorite catchphrase.
那是赫克托最喜欢的口头禅。
I would say, ''I want to get married.''
我会说：“我想结婚。
He'd say, ''Not yet.''
他会说：“还没有。
I'd say, ''Let's live together.''
我会说：“我们一起去生活吧。
"Not yet."
还没有。
''Not yet'' was a hair I couldn't get out of my eye and a bad song I couldn't get out of my head.
还没有”这句话就像一根扎在我眼睛里的刺，让我无法忘记；而那首糟糕的歌曲则像一根缠绕在我脑海中的绳索，让我无法将其抛诸脑后。
So you could imagine my surprise when he said "Sure'' to meeting me at the condo at noon.
你可以想象，当他说“当然可以”并同意中午在公寓与我见面时，我有多惊讶。
Now, I arrived early and eager.
现在，我提前到达了现场，而且满怀期待。
But Hector?
但是赫克托呢？
Haha, well that was another story.
哈哈，好吧，那又是另一个故事了。
12:15 came.
12点15分到了。
1:00 pm.
下午1点。
No Hector.
不，赫克托。
Eventually, he called, something had come up.
最终，他打来了电话，说出了某个紧急情况。