The three secrets of resilient people | Lucy Hone | TEDxChristchurch · TEDx Talks
Lucy Hone分享了三个提升韧性的科学策略，结合个人经历与研究，帮助人们在面对失去、灾难和心理挑战时找到应对方法，适合练习情感表达与心理调节。
So I'd like to start if I may, by asking you some questions.
那么，如果可以的话，我想先通过问你们一些问题来开始我的发言。
If you've ever lost someone you truly love, ever had your heart broken, ever struggled through an acrimonious divorce or being the victim of infidelity,
如果你曾经失去过真正深爱的人，曾经心碎过，曾经经历过激烈的离婚纠纷，或者成为不忠行为的受害者……
please stand up.
请站起来。
If standing up is inaccessible to you, you can put your hand up, please stay standing and keep your hand up there.
如果您无法站立，请举起手来。请继续保持站立姿势，并将手举在那里。
If you've ever lived through a natural disaster, been bullied, or been made redundant, stand on up.
如果你曾经经历过自然灾害、遭受过欺凌，或者被裁员，那么请勇敢地站起来。
If you've ever had a miscarriage, if you've ever had an abortion or struggled through infertility, please stand up.
如果你曾经经历过流产、堕胎，或者为不孕不育问题而苦恼过，请站起来。
Finally, if you or anyone you love has had to cope with mental illness, dementia, some form of physical impairment or cope with suicide,
最后，如果你或你所爱的人曾不得不面对精神疾病、痴呆症、某种形式的身体残疾，或是自杀问题，
please stand up.
请站起来。
Look around you.
看看你周围的环境。
Adversity doesn't discriminate.
逆境不会区分对象（即无论面对的是谁，逆境都会降临）。
If you are alive, you are going to have to or you've already had to deal with some tough times.
如果你还活着，那么你就必须面对一些艰难的时刻；或许你早已经历过这些艰难时刻了。
Thank you.
谢谢。
Everyone takes seat.
大家都坐好了自己的位置。
I started studying resilience research a decade ago at the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia.
十年前，我在费城宾夕法尼亚大学开始研究关于“韧性”（即个体在面对压力或逆境时能够恢复的能力）的相关课题。
It was an amazing time to be there because the professors who trained
那真是一个令人难以忘怀的时光——因为那些负责培训的教授们……
me had just picked up the contract to train all 1.1 million American soldiers to be as mentally fit as they always have been physically fit.
我刚刚接到了这份合同，负责培训全部 110 万名美国士兵，使他们不仅在身体上保持健康，同时在心理上也能达到最佳状态。
As you can imagine, you don't get a much more skeptical, discerning audience than the American Drill Sergeants returning from Afghanistan.
可以想象，没有比从阿富汗归来的美国陆军教官们更怀疑、更善于辨别事物的人群了。
So for someone like me, whose main quest in life is trying
所以，对于像我这样的人来说，我人生中的主要目标就是不断努力、不断追求自己的梦想。
to work out how we take the best of scientific findings out of academia and bring them to people in their everyday lives,
我们需要研究如何将学术界的最佳科研成果转化为实际应用，让普通人能够在日常生活中受益。
it was a pretty inspiring place to be.
那确实是一个非常令人振奋、充满灵感的场所。
I finished my studies in America and I returned home here to Christchurch to start my doctoral research.
我在美国完成了学业，然后回到了家乡基督城，开始我的博士研究。
I'd just begun that study when the Christchurch earthquakes hit.
我刚开始进行那项研究的时候，克赖斯特彻奇发生了地震。
So I put my research on hold and I started working with my home community to help them through that terrible post-quake period.
于是，我暂时搁置了自己的研究工作，开始与当地的社区合作，帮助他们度过那段可怕的震后时期。
I work with all sorts of organizations, from government departments to building companies and all sorts of community groups,
我与各种各样的组织合作，从政府部门到建筑公司，再到各种社区团体。
teaching them the ways of thinking and acting that we know boost resilience.
教导他们那些我们认为是能够增强心理韧性的思维方式和行为方式。
I thought that was my calling my moment to put all of that research to good use.
我觉得这就是我的使命所在——正是我应该将所有那些研究成果付诸实践的时刻。
But sadly, I was wrong, for my own true test came in 2014 on Queen's Birthday weekend.
但遗憾的是，我错了。真正的考验出现在 2014 年女王生日的那个周末。
We and two other families had decided to go down to Lake Ohau and bike.
我们和另外两个家庭决定前往奥豪湖（Lake Ohau），然后在那里骑自行车。
At the last minute, my beautiful twelve-year-old daughter Abby decided to hop in the car with her best friend Ella,
在最后一刻，我12岁的女儿艾比决定和她最好的朋友埃拉一起上车。
also 12, and Ella's mum Sally, a dear dear friend of mine.
还有12岁的小女孩，以及埃拉的妈妈莎莉——她是我非常非常亲密的朋友。
On the way down as they traveled on Thompson's track, a car sped through a stop sign,
当他们沿着汤普森的路线下行时，有一辆车闯过了停车标志。
crashing into them and killing all three of them instantly.
汽车撞上了他们，导致三人都当场死亡。
In the blink of an eye, I find myself flung to the other side of the equation, waking up with a whole new identity.
转眼间，我被“抛”到了这个“等式”的另一边，醒来时发现自己拥有了一个全新的身份。
Instead of being the resilience expert, suddenly I'm the grieving mother, waking up not knowing who I am,
我突然从那位擅长应对危机、具备强大心理韧性的专家，变成了一个沉浸在悲痛中的母亲——每天醒来时都不知道自己是谁。
trying to wrap my head around unthinkable news.
我正努力理解这些令人难以置信的消息。
My world smashed to smithereens.
我的世界彻底崩塌了。
Suddenly I'm the one on the end of all this expert advice and I can tell you, I didn't like what I heard one little bit.
突然间，我成了所有这些建议的接收者；我可以告诉你们，我一点也不喜欢听到的内容。
In the days after Abby died we were told we were now prime candidates for family
在艾比去世后的那些日子里，我们被告知：我们现在成了组建新家庭的理想人选。
estrangement, that we were likely to get divorced and we were at high risk of mental illness.
我们的关系变得非常疏远，很可能最终会离婚，而且我们都有患上精神疾病的高风险。
Wow, I remember thinking, thanks for that.
哇，我记得当时心里在想：“真感谢你。